Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be difficult due to compromised self-trust. Clicking on this link may have been sheer curiosity, or it may have been in response to a “gut” reaction. Typically, the first damage done to a victim of narcissistic abuse is destabilizing their ability to trust themselves. Suppose you suspect that you are currently in or have been a victim of narcissistic abuse. In that case, I recommend finding a support group, a therapist, or an advocate, such as myself, as soon as possible to help you through the healing and recovery process.
One of the essential parts of healing from narcissistic abuse is finding loving empathizing support, outside of the situation, to help you navigate a path to freedom. You do not have to do this alone. Besides providing private treatment, I have also created a peer support group that can help you move through recovery challenges.
You may contact me directly for details. I encourage you to reach out to someone.
Am I Being Abused?
People suffering the emotional, cognitive, and physical effects of narcissistic abuse question their perception of reality. Below are a few examples of abusive behaviors you may have missed and can help provide clarity if you think you may be in an abusive relationship.
- Verbal abuse includes belittling, bullying, accusing, blaming, shaming, demanding, ordering, threatening, criticizing, sarcasm, raging, opposing, undermining, interrupting, blocking, and name-calling.
- Manipulation: Generally, manipulation is indirect influence on someone to behave in a way that furthers the goals of the manipulator. Often, it expresses covert aggression. Think of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” On the surface, the words seem harmless – even complimentary; but underneath you feel demeaned or sense a hostile intent.
- Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail may include threats, anger, warnings, intimidation, or punishment. It’s a form of manipulation that provokes doubt in you.
- Gaslighting: Intentionally making you distrust your perceptions of reality or believe that you’re mentally incompetent.
- Competition: Competing and one-upping to always be on top, sometimes through unethical means. E.g. cheating in a game.
- Negative contrasting: Unnecessarily making comparisons to negatively contrast you with the narcissist or other people.
- Sabotage: Disruptive interference with your endeavors or relationships for the purpose of revenge or personal advantage.
- Exploitation and objectification: Using or taking advantage of you for personal ends without regard for your feelings or needs
- Lying: Persistent deception to avoid responsibility or to achieve the narcissist’s own ends.
- Withholding: Withholding such things as money, sex, communication or affection from you.
- Neglect: Ignoring the needs of a child for whom the abuser is responsible. Includes child endangerment; i.e., placing or leaving a child in a dangerous situation.
- Privacy invasion: Ignoring your boundaries by looking through your things, phone, mail; denying your physical privacy or stalking or following you; ignoring privacy you’ve requested.
- Character assassination or slander: Spreading malicious gossip or lies about you to other people.
- Violence:This includes blocking your movement, pulling hair, throwing things, or destroying your property.
- Financial abuse: Financial abuse might include controlling you through economic domination or draining your finances through extortion, theft, manipulation, or gambling, or by accruing debt in your name or selling your personal property.
- Isolation: Isolating you from friends, family, or access to outside services and support through control, manipulation, verbal abuse, character assassination, or other means of abuse.
(Lancer, D (2017). How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse: Abuse is never your fault. Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201709/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse)