Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be difficult due to compromised self-trust. Clicking on this link may have been sheer curiosity, or it may have been in response to a “gut” reaction. Typically, the first damage done to a victim of narcissistic abuse is destabilizing their ability to trust themselves. Suppose you suspect that you are currently in or have been a victim of narcissistic abuse. In that case, I recommend finding a support group, a therapist, or an advocate, such as myself, as soon as possible to help you through the healing and recovery process.
One of the essential parts of healing from narcissistic abuse is finding loving empathizing support, outside of the situation, to help you navigate a path to freedom. You do not have to do this alone. Besides providing private treatment, I have also created a peer support group that can help you move through recovery challenges.
In March I started a support group on MeetUp. Go here for more information on the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Group or to sign up for an event.
Join us on MeetUp April 29th for:
Establishing Familial and Spousal Boundaries: A talk with Blaine
The first step in beginning to heal from narcissistic abuse is to remove yourself entirely from the relationship. But what if your abuser happens to be a spouse with whom you share parenting responsibilities or they are a member of your family, say a parent? Each of these situations seems impossible to navigate. Blaine has not only been successful at managing the seemingly impossible task of establishing familial boundaries, but he has also healed the wounds of the past and now shares his process in navigating these challenging life circumstances.
Blaine is a 4th generation Oregonian who suffered narcissistic abuse at the hands of his parents and siblings for 49 years. He became a successful commodities trader A few years into this career, he suffered a stroke, had brain surgeries to remove a tumor, and experienced countless seizures. He became disabled by daily migraines and other extenuating medical conditions, and it was then he recognized that he had become a narcissist.
Blaine has spent the last eight years focusing on personal growth and researching narcissistic disorder. Additionally, he has been an advocate for cannabinoids as medicine in controlling four types of seizures. Recognized as an expert in the subject by doctors, Blaine speaks both privately and publicly to further the understanding of cannabinoid use benefits.
Blaine is passionate about helping others, who are suffering, experience the healing and freedom from pain that he has experienced, and feels compelled to pass on the kindness.
He’ll walk us through his story and his healing process while providing a comprehensive understanding of the life effects suffered from his narcissistic abuser. Blaine will also offer solid insight into the “do’s and don’ts” of dealing with a narcissist, exploring what makes them tick. He will discuss the steps he took to achieve self-acceptance and forgiveness, a requirement for true healing from narcissistic abuse.
Join us to learn more about how to heal from narcissistic abuse, and as Blaine says:
“Make the healing all about you because the abuse was all about them. Learning how to put yourself first again or for the first time is key for getting out from under the thumb of a narc.” Blaine
Am I Being Abused?
People suffering the emotional, cognitive, and physical effects of narcissistic abuse question their perception of reality. Below are a few examples of abusive behaviors you may have missed and can help provide clarity if you think you may be in an abusive relationship.
- Verbal abuse includes belittling, bullying, accusing, blaming, shaming, demanding, ordering, threatening, criticizing, sarcasm, raging, opposing, undermining, interrupting, blocking, and name-calling.
- Manipulation: Generally, manipulation is indirect influence on someone to behave in a way that furthers the goals of the manipulator. Often, it expresses covert aggression. Think of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” On the surface, the words seem harmless – even complimentary; but underneath you feel demeaned or sense a hostile intent.
- Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail may include threats, anger, warnings, intimidation, or punishment. It’s a form of manipulation that provokes doubt in you.
- Gaslighting: Intentionally making you distrust your perceptions of reality or believe that you’re mentally incompetent.
- Competition: Competing and one-upping to always be on top, sometimes through unethical means. E.g. cheating in a game.
- Negative contrasting: Unnecessarily making comparisons to negatively contrast you with the narcissist or other people.
- Sabotage: Disruptive interference with your endeavors or relationships for the purpose of revenge or personal advantage.
- Exploitation and objectification: Using or taking advantage of you for personal ends without regard for your feelings or needs
- Lying: Persistent deception to avoid responsibility or to achieve the narcissist’s own ends.
- Withholding: Withholding such things as money, sex, communication or affection from you.
- Neglect: Ignoring the needs of a child for whom the abuser is responsible. Includes child endangerment; i.e., placing or leaving a child in a dangerous situation.
- Privacy invasion: Ignoring your boundaries by looking through your things, phone, mail; denying your physical privacy or stalking or following you; ignoring privacy you’ve requested.
- Character assassination or slander: Spreading malicious gossip or lies about you to other people.
- Violence:This includes blocking your movement, pulling hair, throwing things, or destroying your property.
- Financial abuse: Financial abuse might include controlling you through economic domination or draining your finances through extortion, theft, manipulation, or gambling, or by accruing debt in your name or selling your personal property.
- Isolation: Isolating you from friends, family, or access to outside services and support through control, manipulation, verbal abuse, character assassination, or other means of abuse.
(Lancer, D (2017). How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse: Abuse is never your fault. Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201709/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse)